ROMANCE NOVELS usually describe the men who are irresistible as tall, dark and handsome. Sometimes, before you get to Chapter Five, acts of domestic violence may spoil the character of the romantic hero. But in the real world, the males prone to domestic violence are of many heights and outward appearances.

This is T&T where every creed and race finds an equal place; and so, too, the men who are violent in their relationships. Short, tall, or of medium build, and of all financial strata, a shocking number of T&T males spoil the lives of the females in our local love stories.

We cannot ignore world history. Over thousands of years, men of all races and cultures fall into characteristic violence against women. Males are generally the preferred sex from birth to death. They are supposedly born to rule the lives of females. Women are expected to be eternally grateful if men smile in their direction. Here in our culture men are extensively glorified by the females. Mothers, aunties, grannies, and godmothers spoil the boy children more than the girls. Boys can get away with being naughty. Girls are told to behave.

Our men are generally accepted as extra-special. Not all T&T males are violent, but those who are, believe themselves entitled.

I most certainly do not dislike men, but I heartily dislike violent behaviour as being par for the course in normal life.

Some females of T&T (not all) believe that life is not worth living unless they are owned by a male. He does not have to be tall, dark or handsome to qualify for worship. Any man will do. Once you can say: I am important because I have a man.

Some women get pregnant to provide proof of importance. The male children born, if without a father, have to act as their own father. This could possibly lead to young males going astray because of issues brought about by a lack of mentorship.

All females should be aware of how a male child is treated from infancy.

Females have to be respected and treated as equals. Girls must learn to love themselves and have pride in being female.

Why am I switching the blame game for out-of-control domestic violence onto the women who are being violated? T&T females need to accept that it is necessary to examine the negative character traits of male companions early in the story. You have to share control of the ending/fulfilment of your romance novel.

That is just the beginning of saving your own life in instances of domestic violence. If evidence of violence rears its ugly head, just walk away before you are mentally and physically destroyed.

Licks can mean instant death.

Lynette Joseph
Diego Martin